By Robin Lewis (Special to the Morning News)

Dear Robin,

My progress is not what I expected it to be by week 4 of the program. My kids miss me and others are doing better, with greater weight loss. I’m wondering if I should continue.

Signed,

Feeling Stuck

Dear Feeling Stuck,

One of the surest ways to guarantee defeat in any endeavor is to begin comparing ourselves to others. When we allow our thoughts to “sit down and put their feet up” in that place of comparison, we can easily get stuck in a way that causes us to speak self-criticism and seek relief by finding a way out. We are only attempting to escape our pain, having painted and hung a picture that says we aren’t enough.

The truth is that without some pressure, we don’t grow and change to live a better life. Change is usually uncomfortable. In making life changing decisions, like signing up for the Biggest Loser program, we can be certain of having days that require us to think and choose differently. Some of us with blinders on must choose to focus on our direction and our progress alone. When you are tempted to believe you are stuck, remember that the one thing you have control over is your response to a situation. There are times we simply must rise above feelings and choose the response we know we need.

In regards to the “Mommie guilt” you feel, our children will either receive security or insecurity from us. Children look to moms and dads for that safe feeling. When we are certain of what we are doing, even if our choice brings change into their lives, our confidence will build security in them.

So when your children say, “Mommy, when are you coming home?” or “Mommy, do you have to go out again? Why?” Then you have a choice. You can respond with Mommy Guilt, and reply, “I know it’s hard honey, and Mommy is so sorry to be going to the gym again.” This is guaranteed to multiply their worry, OR you can respond confidently and guide the conversation with something age appropriate like, “Are you feeling sad? I understand. Mommy is going to learn something new for all of us. I am so proud of you! So what can we plan to do when I get home?” Another example, “What would you like to do with Daddy that would be fun while I’m at my class?”

No matter what your current struggle, you have to believe that it really is OK for you to be in the Biggest Loser challenge. Remember your reasons for signing up. Those are your motivators, the fuel for the journey.

The famous Hope Diamond was formed 100 miles beneath the earth’s surface, pushed up by violent eruptions of 40 MPH. Any other kind of journey and it could have become graphite. Even after that, it still had to be cut for its brilliance to show. If a diamond must endure such a journey for its beauty to be revealed, what about you? Say yes to the challenge, that once completed, leads to the fulfillment of your dream.

Grace for the journey,

Robin

 

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